We’re having a BABY…..
there’s just one little kicker….
We don’t know who the father is……
or the mother for that matter!
That’s right folks- you read that right…..
We are ADOPTING!
2019 is bringing us some AMAZING things, and we are SO ecstatic.
The way this all came about is a truly only something God could have done. After our last failed IVF, neither Cody nor I were convinced that going for another round was what needed to happen. Well let me take that back…. I was still half way on the band wagon. I felt like the only thing we could do was press forward. I knew in my gut, it probably wasn’t the right thing to do… but by golly I wanted a baby- and that was the only way to get it!
Until….. I had that little sit down with my friend that I talked about in my previous blog. Up until this point I had been praying for God to OPEN the doors for us, for our fertility treatments to work- however God began laying on my heart that I needed to pray for him to CLOSE the doors. And let me tell you…. As soon as I started asking God to close the doors instead of open them… boy oh boy did He!
For me (as I talked about last week), Fertility had become an addiction to me. Something that I craved and longed for…. But when I started asking God to close the doors- he literally took fertility treatments out of my mind. I went from looking for the next treatment, next medication, next everything…. to LITERALLY being physically sick every time I thought about another infertility treatment. And I am here to tell you…. The only thing that could have done that…. Is God. Not only had God started changing my physical self, but also my mental and emotional self as well.
During this time, Cody and I really hadn’t talked much about it. I think he assumed that I was just going to move on to the next treatment as usual, and I assumed that he would say something if he didn’t want to. But it wasn’t until one night, lying in bed I just turned to him and with tears in my eyes said… I don’t think I can do this anymore. Just saying that out loud- gave me such a HUGE sense of relief. But the BIGGER blessing in this… was that Cody had felt the same way. He had been praying for the doors to close as well- and boy did God close it! He closed it not literally, or physically…. But he closed it by changing our hearts entirely.
If you would have asked us even 3 months ago, if we were open to adoption- we would have told you absolutely not. We wanted our own biological child- and if we couldn’t have that, then we weren’t sure we would have any. So, for God to totally and completely change BOTH of our hearts at the same time…. Truly means something!
Adoption came into our minds when we heard a friend say “there are 120 babies that have been surrendered in the past 3 months.” That was like a wake up call for both of us….WHY were we continuing to do something that God clearly didn’t want us to… when there were SO many children out there who needed a home! …. And that’s where our journey began!
For me… I always knew that my family supported us in whatever we did… but there was always something that didn’t set right. They were so reserved, and really didn’t ever know what to say to us. BUT…. When we told them our news of adoption…. They were over the moon excited. Like… more excited and happy than I had ever seen them.
My sisters reaction: “Well I knew that! I have been praying for this specific thing for SO long” (cue the tears…)
My mom’s reaction: See below….. her excitement was SO visible- and for me…. That sealed the deal that we had most definitely made the right decision.
My in-laws reaction: see below… they were excited as well!
Several of my friends reactions: So happy with tears!
….. did you get that there…. EVERYONE was happy…. There wasn’t one person who was sad, or confused, or had an ill word…. And that was God.
Things have literally fallen into place for us so easily since then.
#1 we found the perfect consulting agency who has helped us and guided us through the beginning steps of this process
#2 we found a home study agency who has literally made what most say is the hardest thing about adoption SO easy
#3 he has provided the finances for BOTH above
#4 he has provided us both a PEACE that we have NEVER had before
#5 he has given us family and friends who have been here to help us with ANYTHING we needed to get our home ready for home visits and our little bundle of joy!
So… while we don’t know exactly what the future holds…. And we know that its not going to be easy… and we know that there will be bumps in the road…. We know that we are following God’s will.
SO! Will you commit to pray for us? Some specific things if you don’t mind?
1. Pray for our birth mom… this is not going to be an easy decision for her. And we want her to feel as supported as possible and know that she is making the right decision for her baby.
2. Pray for our future baby… that God would give us guidance on the right decisions
3. Pray for our nerves… that we would be patient and wait on God’s timing and not our own
4. Pray for our finances… having spent most of our savings on infertility treatment, we are now going into another large financial commitment. We know this is what God wants us to do- and know that he will help us find the best way! (be on the lookout for some fundraisers coming soon!)
5. Pray for the decisions we have to make…. as there are A LOT during this process that that are difficult!