There are SO many decisions that go into adoption. Some people may think its a walk in the park… but it really isn’t.
One of the biggest decisions that we have had to make was regarding the amount of drug/substance abuse we would accept. Drug exposure can lead to long term effects on the baby, it can lead to NICU stays, and increased behavioral issues as they get older….. the list could go on and on….
There are so many factors that go into this…..
what drug is it?
how long have they been on it?
do they plan to stop?
how much do they take?…
In the beginning of this adoption process- all of those questions were quite overwhelming for us. During our home study, they asked us what kind of substance abuse we thought we would accept… at the time we said….
“we will look at it on a case by case basis”
In the back of our heads, we were honestly thinking….
We don’t want to accept ANY.
Looking back on this, I can say that this was mostly because we were scared. Scared that we wouldn’t be able to provide, scared that we would have a crazy birth parent running around, scared of unknown, scared of the known.…. just bottom line… scared.
While I didn’t know what to expect out of our expectant mama(EM) cases in my heart… in my head I was thinking that the only cases we would see, were teenage girls who just wanted more for their baby than they could offer. So when we got our first EM case after signing with the consultant… I remember being so defeated. This particular expectant mama had many different substances in her system, and I was just so…… defeated. It was after that day, that we really began for the first time to think about what kind of substance abuse we would accept in our adoption.
Time went on, and we were presented with case after case of different expectant mamas. We passed on multiple opportunities to present, because of different substances that were in the EM system… because we remained scared. We continued to try to take matters into our own hands, and figure out what was best for us.
It wasn’t until the CEO of our consulting agency posted something regarding her experience with adoption that I started to realize that…
God has MUCH bigger plans for us.
He has plans that we don’t even know about, and if we continue to “comb through” the cases we were seeing- we could be potentially missing out on the HUGE blessing that God has coming our way….
Check her story out here… it is truly a tear jerker, and pulled a string in my heart that I didn’t even know was there. (Thank you JG for letting me share!)
“This” is what our story of drug exposure looks like. Her birth mom said her drug of choice was “anything she could get her hands on.” Heroin, cocaine, meth, opiates, alcohol, cigarettes, and marijuana on almost a daily basis. In fact, when we discharge from the hospital, we found an empty bottle of an entire pint of Malibu rum under her hospital bed. Her birth mom tried to abort her once on her own with the Plan B pill, at 6 to 7 weeks gestation, an alcoholic cocktail, and an Egyptian remedy to induce contractions. She made it through. Participated in all the recreational drugs that she did. Then she went to a clinic and try to abort her there. She lives to tell her story one day and I can’t wait to sit front row and watch her testimony unravel. Please please please for the love of my daughter, consider drug exposure and what you are willing to pray hard enough for. The power of prayer is absolutely astonishing and simply.. works.
LOOK at that sweet girl….. LOOK at what she went through before she was even born….
GOD has a PLAN for this girl….
I get chill bumps just thinking about what may have happened if these sweet people had not been open to adopting a baby with drug exposure….. I also get chill bumps at seeing how God is using them to help other people come to realize that God really does have a plan.
So… if you ask me today what kind of exposure we would be open to….. our answer would be…
This is not to say, that we think every situation is going to turn out like rainbows…. but I will tell you… that if we limit ourselves in the kind of cases that we present to… we are also limiting the Glory that God can do through us.
Psalm 3: 5-6
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.